So on Tuesday I was announced the Band Major. It was supposed to be a happy day because I knew they were gonna announce that day, they told me. But, during practice, something happened that made me so depressed and emotional that I was not one bit happy when I was announced next Band Major. Totally make me lose face just before I'm announced next BM. But it's not the face I bother about, it's the meaning behind what I wanted to do. Damn it.
Today had rehearsal for Founder's Day. Damn it. So cramp that we don't even have space to play trombone. And tuba in front, how to see conductor?! Why is nothing going right? Everything is making me unhappy. The only one making me happy is Kevin. :) The only one in Band making me smile is him. After he graduates what will happen? I will be BM, so? I look forward to coming to band only for trombone and my senior. I don't look forward to Fridays ever since it was changed to sectionals. I used to look forward to it, because it was the longest day at band. Now I only get irritated even before it starts because I know they'll slack and I'll only get irritated with them when it starts. Then now one less thing to look forward to. On Tuesday, Mr Yeo uses the room to teach Sec 1s while we go out to do sectionals again. Sectionals is always the time they slack. So... I don't think I look forward to Tuesday either. Saturday, got marching first, then practice, so less practice time. And this is combined the whole day, so less combined time. I only like Saturday cos of marching and NO slacking. Why do I even still love Band? Am I nuts or what? I myself am not clear now why I still love Band. If you asked me in Sec 1 I can tell you immediately. Now?... Why do I love Band so much that I want to be the Band Major so I can help them but make life harder for myself? Maybe I do know... The heart has its reasons that reasons know nothing of...
And right here, I'd like to announce that my senior is the best :) There are feelings that are beyond words to describe. Feelings are powerful beyond the capacity of words...
Labels: Band, Feelings/Emotions, Seniors, Trombone